Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Queensland home of Scarey Things

My name is Belinda Red Elephant and I am terrified of snakes and crocodiles. We are going to Queensland and aiming for Cape York I have ordered Tourist Brochures to do some research. They arrived in the letter box and I took them in to read with a cuppa and a bickie. Imagine my horror when I start reading and on nearly every page there is are several warnings CROCODILES - be crocwise, Snakes - be alert, use lights when walking at night, keep tents closed at all times, Stinging Jellyfish maybe present. Now I dont need to tell you that Crocs are nasty, they have big mean chomppers, they are lurking in the water ready to pull you in and give you the death spin and then chomp you up. The Snakes are giants 7 meters long. It seems everywhere I turn I see crocodiles and snakes, I was at friends house today her little girl was watching kids daytime TV and low and behold a crocodile. Bondi Vet was on saturday night he was up in Queensland somewhere, Townsville i think and there was a crocodile surfing of the beach and someone brought into his surgery a 7 metre python. A clip came up on one of the internet sites the other day of a giant python wrapped around a poor wallaby. I am having nightmares of snakes in the caravan, snakes in the toilet blocks. Crocodiles surrounding the van, crocodiles gobbling me up. And thats not all. I read on in the tourist brochure, there are boulder fields where people have died, mosquito's, avoid bites stings and scratches, disused mining shafts, quicksand on the beaches, Cassowaries that can slice you open with their feet, OMG. Could someone send me Bear Grilles or Mciver, I dont know if Mr Red Elephant is going to cut it. Or maybe I should just change the type of Tea I drink!

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